Taking Selfies After an EMP Attack

An EMP attack by a rogue nation on the continental United States or Europe, or a solar flare would fry electronics from coast to coast, and electricity grids would be irreparable.

No computers, smartphones, banks or commerce would work. There would be no essential services, no water or food left in supermarkets. All vehicles apart from the horse and cart would be operational.

Selfies are a large part of modern life and the magazine suggests a vital solution to getting that all important narcissistic fix that dominates peoples’ lives so much.

“First you would have to forget about feeding yourself or your family. Forget about finding fresh water or shelter. You need to take a selfie, and we’re going to show you how this can be done with no smartphone, because the electronics got fried by the EMP blast.

“The only things you will need for this selfie is a piece of paper, a mirror and a pen.

“Hold the mirror up or lean it against an object, then take the pen and start to draw a picture of yourself on the paper. Et voila, you now have a selfie. You can take as long or little time on the selfie as you want, but make sure to make lots of copies to share amongst your friends, if they are still alive.

“You can even make a selfie stick yourself. Simply get a branch or stick and tie the mirror to the stick, then extend it making sure you get a good angle of yourself.

“If you are near a museum, you could always break in and find a 19th century camera, then put it on a stick, extending will be hard as they are such big cameras and each shot has to be posed for long periods of time. The only drawback is you won’t be able to process the selfie because it will be hard to find the necessary chemicals. Better stick with the first selfie suggestion.”

Next week: How to Share on Facebook After an EMP