Clooney to Have Drinks Party on Moon

MARE FECUNDATIS - The Moon - The lunar surface is being prepared to be completely shut down as American actor John Clooney and his new wife have another drinks party, this time on the moon's surface.

“People from Earth will not be able to see the moon for several days, do not be alarmed, we just shut out the lights for awhile,” a Clooney representative told Hello magazine.

Clooney has already succeeded in having celebratory parties for his recent wedding to Anal Aladdin, in every corner of the world at great expense, so the moon is a natural choice for a couple of such eminence.

“We’re not like you ordinaries. I want to show off my wedding. I got married to a beautiful woman, I want to make a statement over and over again. Hey, I got married, I’m not a celebrity bachelor anymore, and for my next trick I’m going to bend over and you will see the sun shining out of my ass,” Mr. Clooney said before lifting off in his specially commissioned shuttle with his new wife two days ago.

So…after the moon what is there for such an important couple? Well, gravity is no shackle to the new celebuweds, they plan on gracing planets and galaxies farther away, or possibly visiting some space stations here or there for even more celebratory post wedding drinks parties, let’s just hope they don’t press the booster rocket button drifting into open space eventually running out of oxygen.

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