Clooney to Have Drinks Party on Moon

MARE FECUNDATIS - The Moon - The lunar surface is being prepared to be completely shut down as American actor John Clooney and his new wife have another drinks party, this time on the moon's surface.

“People from Earth will not be able to see the moon for several days, do not be alarmed, we just shut out the lights for awhile,” a Clooney representative told Hello magazine.

Clooney has already succeeded in having celebratory parties for his recent wedding to Anal Aladdin, in every corner of the world at great expense, so the moon is a natural choice for a couple of such eminence.

“We’re not like you ordinaries. I want to show off my wedding. I got married to a beautiful woman, I want to make a statement over and over again. Hey, I got married, I’m not a celebrity bachelor anymore, and for my next trick I’m going to bend over and you will see the sun shining out of my ass,” Mr. Clooney said before lifting off in his specially commissioned shuttle with his new wife two days ago.

So…after the moon what is there for such an important couple? Well, gravity is no shackle to the new celebuweds, they plan on gracing planets and galaxies farther away, or possibly visiting some space stations here or there for even more celebratory post wedding drinks parties, let’s just hope they don’t press the booster rocket button drifting into open space eventually running out of oxygen.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: celebrity

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.