Abraham Lincoln Was Half Black Historians Reveal

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The sixteenth president of the United States of America, Abraham Lincoln has been discovered to have had a black father according to historians and scientists working for the Institute of Historical Science which is linked to Harvard university.

Records dating to February 12, 1809 officially remark that Abraham Lincoln’s parents were Thomas Lincoln and Nancy Hanks, however, there has been a new discovery which has put a new slant on the issue of parentage.

Abraham Lincoln’s mother was having an affair with a black plantation worker and new DNA evidence suggests that she somehow tricked her husband into believing that Abraham was the couples child. Secret love letters unearthed in 2003 reveal that Lincoln’s mother was conducting a clandestine affair with a slave named Iemis from a Kentucky plantation.

“We managed to attain DNA evidence from a lock of Abraham Lincoln’s hair which proves that he had a very strong African genetic link. His chromosome makeup is very specific to West African DNA patterns and this suggests that Abraham’s real father was indeed of African origin,” Dr. Alan Holdsworth, who is the chief Anthropologist on this project told National Geographic magazine.

The Obama campaign team, on hearing of the wonderful news have already started production of a short film to be aired on all networks next week.

Senator McCain’s campaign team are of course trying to refute the evidence collated by the scientific researchers as false and have demanded the team re-do the DNA analysis of Abraham Lincoln’s hair.

“Now we know why he was so vehemently opposed to slavery. Lincoln’s father was a slave. His mother, a poor white farmer’s wife had slept with a black slave and somehow concealed this fact from her husband. It’s almost like something you would see on Jerry Springer or Maury,” a reporter from the Fox News Network said.

With the prospect of another half black president on the way, America must come to terms with its past before it embraces its future.

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