Heather Mills Grows Third Leg

Scientists are today astonished that ‘Lucky’ Heather Mills, the soon to be ‘very rich’ ex-wife of Beatle Paul McCartney, has grown an extra limb.

The astounding spectacle was discovered at the Los Angeles studios for the new Come Dancing series.

Heather was invited onto the show by producers because of the high ratings that were received from her sterling appearance on Dancing With the D-List Celebrities series.

Lady Mucca who was seen attending court last Thursday in central London was spied in a wheelchair
with a face that looked like a smacked arse. She declined to make any
comment to Squib reporter Ernest Bunkerwinkle but instead continued to
feign agony.

Lights, camera, action!

Audience members on the show were astonished to see her appear from the wings and careen across the dance floor like a caterpillar.

“She moved fast, man! I never seen anyone move like that. One second she was there, then next she was on the other motherfu**ing side!” an excited audience member told the Daily Squib.

“It was hard for her partner to keep up with her moves. She was twirling, spinning and scuttling across the dance floor like a spider on methamphetamine,” said Len Goodman, one of the judges who dared make a comment after the performance.

The rest of the judges for the competition however are debating whether a three legged dancer is permissible. The rules clearly state that contestants must be human with two legs or less.

Len Goodman is backing Heather all the way because he has three pet tarantulas at home and is not an arachnophobe.