Oops There’s Sh*t in the Tap Water Supply!

Your drinking tap water supply is contaminated with faeces…oops, but never mind, I’m a fat cat water boss on a salary of £5 million per year, so I generally don’t care. My home has its own premium water filtration system, but yours probably does not. My water company also pumps out tonnes of raw sewage daily into the sea where swimmers bathe, as well as into the rivers and lakes.

Please do not worry as you get sick of cryptosporidium poisoning or some other nasty bacterial infection in your gut.

You will no doubt have the shits right now, well it’s no problem our water company will simply add your diarrhoea to the water system, and you will drink it again. It’s the circle of life and water.

Faeces in tap water detected in 10 regions of England

Thank you for paying your water bill especially as we have conveniently just raised our prices again. You’re paying inflated charges to drink shit, microplastics, lead, arsenic and of course fluoride which is good for your teeth and will keep you nice and compliant.

I am so happy living in my luxury mansion because I get to drink clean pure water, and you get to drink shitty water which will eventually kill you.

Have a nice fucking day, and don’t forget to stay hydrated for your own health.