Meth Math the Latest Midwest Craze

Midwest Americans are going crazy over a new craze called ‘Meth Math’.

The craze started when an Arkansas meth head started to count how many meth rocks he could smoke in an afternoon.

“It’s called Meth Math because you add up the amount of rocks you smoke then subtract that number with the amount of hours you lose from your life then multiply that amount by the amount of teeth that fall out of your mouth divided by the square root of your next score session adding two thirds of the cost of the hit,” Albert Feinstein, the Meth Math founder told the local Arkansas Tribune newspaper. Sadly he is dead now.

Authorities are gearing up to combat the Meth Math craze sweeping the Midwest with a government funded program called Meth Algebra.

The District County Sheriff’s office headed by Kirk Hammer has been given charge of the new Meth Algebra program which will combat Meth Math with some quadratic meth equations.

“If x is one rock and y is three meth rocks divided by the circumference of xy rocks squared then multiplied by the sum total of all rocks minus the two rocks left over, what does n equal? This is the kind of question we’re asking Meth Math addicts. They get so confused that they stop the Meth Math for more than two minutes,” he revealed at a recent Meth Math drug prevention news conference.