Man 87% Certain of Breaking Leg Chops it Off

BALTIMORE - USA - A man who was told by some doctor that he was 87% certain that he might break his leg in the next 20 years has chopped it off just to make sure it does not get broken.

“I was reading about that actress Angelina Jolie mutilating her body just because some quack told her a nonsense statistic, so I did the same thing, I chopped off my frickin’ leg,” the man told Fox news on Tuesday.

The man said he was happy to do the amputation if it meant his leg never broke.

“At least I won’t break my right leg,” the man said hobbling around on crutches before falling and breaking his left leg.

There have been appeals from sane people around the world to put a stop to the sheer madness of predictive body mutilation as well as celebrity endorsements of the stupid practice.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    DEFENCELESS BRITAIN – The Practical British Prepper: A Three-Month Household Plan

    LONDON - England - Britain is defenceless and bankrupt. It is not too late if…

    1 day ago

    Why Labour is Destroying British Pubs

    LONDON - England - Labour is destroying British pubs. Across the British Isles, thousands of…

    3 days ago

    King Charles Agrees to Meghan Markle Statue at Buckingham Palace

    LONDON - England - King Charles III has agreed to a Meghan Markle statue to…

    6 days ago

    Dangerous Criminal Disappointed by Early Release Thanks to Labour

    WORMWOOD SCRUBS - England - A dangerous criminal is seriously disappointed with his early release…

    6 days ago

    Comrade Burn’em Residing at His Manchester Dacha For Holiday

    MANCHESTER - England - Comrade Burn'em has retired to his dacha up north after two…

    1 week ago

    Digital Science Launches Papers AI: an AI-Native Researcher Workspace for Writing, Data and Code

    LONDON - England - Digital Science launches Papers AI which gives researchers and students an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.