Britons Starting to Get Gills Say Biologists

“We’re seeing more people developing gills on the side of their necks and webbed feet,” Henry Fistleplath, a biologist who has been studying the British population’s adaptation to the wet climate, revealed to the BBC yesterday

Thousands of Britons are now sprouting gills and are more at home in a wet puddle than inside their hovels getting bladdered on cheap supermarket booze.

“I used to get my dole money on the Tuesday, then straight down Aldi for some cartons of cheap wine but now I go to the High Street and sit in one of those massive puddles and swish around there. I can’t control meself (sic),” Ian McCorrie, 27, an unemployed man from Grimsby who has amazingly sprouted some gills and webbed feet, revealed to Newsnight.

The gills allow the former humans to breathe under water but because they still have noses they can still breathe above water as well.

“If you want to swim to the shops it’s OK, then once you’re done you get out of the water and flush your gills out and you can be above dry land then,” another gilled Briton, Mary Ruskens, 43, told the Sun newspaper.

It has been raining constantly in the British Isles since September 2012 and there does not appear to be any sign of the rain stopping the Met office has said.