NHS Doctors Want More Money For Telling You to Get Out After Three Minute Consultations

An appointment with a doctor lasts an average of 3.5 minutes according to new statistics released by the Health Secretary today.

However, new government legislation is aiming to increase patient to doctor times by thirty seconds, leading to a mass demonstration and strike action for GPs.

The doctors’ revolt could hit surgeries across the length and breadth of Britain, with thousands of doctors angry at the new increased patient listening time proposal.

“Instead of kicking the patient out after three and a half minutes, they want us to wait a further thirty seconds. I can’t take it anymore, I can’t listen to another patient talking about their ailments, aaargh, aaargh, aaargh!” one of the distraught doctors, told LBC radio’s, James Minnow today.

Another angry GP said: “If I have to listen to a patient for thirty more seconds than is needed I want a huge increase in pension as well as salary. If not, we’re striking every day until everything is restored.”