Why Black Olives Matter

Yes, you may be outraged at the thought of unceremoniously plonking a black olive on your Shephard’s pie, or your Toad in the Hole, but olives are good for you, and black olives are the best, not those green ones.

We must preserve the purity of the olive and it can only be black, because frankly, it matters, it matters a lot. Arrest the black olive with your taste buds, incarcerate them in your belly, and shoot them into your gullet, one by one, hmmm.

Preserving the black olive engenders a certain earthy Mediterranean quality to any dish, and they say it is the key to long life.

Black olives matter so much that many don’t even skewer them on sticks, I mean how could you anyway especially if they have a pip. No, simply shoot them across your plate into your waiting mouth, sprinkle them in your salad garnished with the delights of the garden, some extra extra virgin, a sparkle of balsamic .

One could be lucky enough to own a grove of olive trees delighting in the wonders of black olives daily, but otherwise we’ll buy them in the supermarket

We must preserve black olives, because they matter. Black olives matter and they have for thousands of years so please don’t put a bullet in black olives, no, savour the taste and live a long life.