Scientists: "Why Eating Food is Dangerous"

Those
who eat from entire food groups are risking their mental and physical
wellbeing.

Experts are now advising people to not eat food if the want to stay healthy.

“Eating is just so yesterday. It’s not just fashion models who should adhere to this healthy diet but the rest of us as well,” Dr. Adrianna McKenna from the Food Institute told the Daily Squib.

The ‘rules’ vary from person to person, but the consumption of food can lead to death sooner than later.

“99% of foods are tainted by pesticides and contain artificial additives such as MSG or are genetically modified with no nutritional value whatsoever, this is why we are advising people to not bother eating anymore,” Dr. McKenna added.

While such habits may seem quirky, they can have a beneficial effect on health.

Cutting
out all food will leave people with less worries and will put less strain on their lifestyle.

“You won’t ever have to think about where your next meal is coming from or what to cook, this is hugely liberating for everyone,” another expert at the Institute said.

The scientists from the same Research Institute based in Bristol, have also discovered the ultimate anti-ageing remedy, a cyanide pill that will stop you ageing another year of your life. Clinical trials are already at the phase 3 stage and the new anti-ageing remedy will be available in six months time.