Shia Labeouf Joins Shia Militia in Iraq

“I needed something to do, you know like something real,” the former Hollywood ‘actor’ said from Baghdad International airport.

Shia is not sure which Shia brigade to join but he has devised a cunning plan.

“I’m gonna go into the Sunni triangle wearing a paper bag on my head with the words ‘Shia For Hire!’ and if that don’t do it nothing will. Gee, I’m so bored already no coke in this town and the chicks wear black cloths all over their heads.”

UPDATE Tuesday: Shia Labeouf has been captured by the Al-Nusra Nusradin Nusra Jihad Brigade in Western Baghdad and something gruesome will probably happen to him soon. No one really seems to care though.