Desperate French Resorting to Hiring Out Versailles to Vulgar Celebrities

VERSAILLES - France - The French have had to undergo many indignities throughout their colourful history, however hiring out the château de Versailles to a bunch of uncouth peasants must really be the final nail in the coffin.

“We need ze money. Hollande has made merde of our économie. C’est une tragédie, yes we know but if seulement someone could get us out of this trou profond, zis is why we have to rent out the magnifique Palais de Versailles. Toute la day we weep at seeing these parasite minor celebrities and their vulgarity, it is an affront to our sensibilité,” Hortense Chevalier, who looks after the palace’s day to day running told Le Monde.

Plans are also afoot to install a fast food kiosk in Versaille’s magnificent hall of mirrors, as well as a gift shop in every room selling tacky faux gold hip hop medals, condoms, lubricant and medallions.

Sex tape model, Kim Kardashian has already requested the royal sleeping quarters have a functioning film studio, so she can stream live on the internet via pay-per-view her latest sex tape effort as she bids to conceive more paparazzi fodder with pop singer West.

In a ravaged economy, this money making exercise is what France needs, however it comes at a terrible cost — dignity.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: celebrity

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.