Desperate French Resorting to Hiring Out Versailles to Vulgar Celebrities

VERSAILLES - France - The French have had to undergo many indignities throughout their colourful history, however hiring out the château de Versailles to a bunch of uncouth peasants must really be the final nail in the coffin.

“We need ze money. Hollande has made merde of our économie. C’est une tragédie, yes we know but if seulement someone could get us out of this trou profond, zis is why we have to rent out the magnifique Palais de Versailles. Toute la day we weep at seeing these parasite minor celebrities and their vulgarity, it is an affront to our sensibilité,” Hortense Chevalier, who looks after the palace’s day to day running told Le Monde.

Plans are also afoot to install a fast food kiosk in Versaille’s magnificent hall of mirrors, as well as a gift shop in every room selling tacky faux gold hip hop medals, condoms, lubricant and medallions.

Sex tape model, Kim Kardashian has already requested the royal sleeping quarters have a functioning film studio, so she can stream live on the internet via pay-per-view her latest sex tape effort as she bids to conceive more paparazzi fodder with pop singer West.

In a ravaged economy, this money making exercise is what France needs, however it comes at a terrible cost — dignity.

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee.
  • First they came for the Satirists
  • And I did not speak out
  • Then they came for the...
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: celebrity

    Recent Posts

    Homeless Fergie Found Under Waterloo Bridge

    LONDON - England - Yes, you guessed correctly. It's under Waterloo Bridge for the former…

    1 day ago

    Prince Andrew: “Why is it just the Brits in the Epstein files?”

    DUBAI - UAE - Prince Andrew decries why the Epstein files mainly focus on the…

    1 day ago

    Why I had to dump the “Jonah” Commissar Reeves from the China begging trip

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer explains why he dumped "Jonah" Commissar Reeves from the…

    3 days ago

    Comrade Starmer Visiting Communist Comrades in China

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer is on a visit to the communist country as…

    5 days ago

    Open Borders Socialist Spain Fast Tracks Half a Million Illegal Migrants Coming to UK

    MADRID - Spain - The far-leftist socialist government has fast-tracked citizenship for over half a…

    5 days ago

    Socialist Tory Party Disgusted as Conservative Defects to Brigand Bandit Group

    LONDON - England - Comrade Badenoch of the Socialist Tory Party is very angry that…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.