Wine Connoisseur Spotted at the Shops

As a wine connoisseur this epicurean, with a palate honed over decades of globetrotting supermarket raids, worships wine as both art and alchemy.

His heart races for the thunderous tannins of a 1982 Château Margaux, its blackcurrant depth still haunting his dreams. He’ll chase it with the electric minerality of a 2010 Domaine de la Romanée-Conti La Tâche, a velvet Burgundy that makes him whisper French expletives with gusto.

For sun-drenched afternoons, nothing beats the honeyed opulence of a 1990 Château d’Yquem, liquid gold that clings like a Sudanese gentleman on an overcrowded rubber dinghy trip from Calais to Dover.

Come autumn, he uncorks a 2005 Giacomo Conterno Monfortino Barolo, its tar-and-roses complexity unfolding like a slow tango in a 4-star hotel ballroom in Epping.

On reckless evenings, a frothy 2015 Dom Pérignon Rosé explodes in strawberry fireworks, while a rustic 1976 López de Heredia Viña Tondonia Gran Reserva Rioja, smokey, leathery, eternal, grounds his benefits’ stipend in everlasting ingratitude.

From the slate-kissed 2018 Joh. Jos. Prüm Wehlener Sonnenuhr Riesling Auslese to the peppery 2016 Penfolds Grange Shiraz, his cellar is a passport, each bottle a love letter to terroir, vintage, and the reckless joy of the next perfect theft.