Bonkers Prince Harry Now Thinks He is an Egyptian Pharaoh

Bonkers Prince Harry thinks he is now an Egyptian Pharaoh and wants to be mummified in his own pyramid in Las Vegas alongside Meghan when he dies, his spokesperson Ovid Scooby has revealed to the BBC.

“Harry daily consults a reincarnated Egyptian priestess from Fresno called Amy Schmucker. She looked into her magical crystal ball and saw that Harry is actually the reincarnation of Amenhotep IV, who ruled Egypt during the period of the New Kingdom from 1351 to 1334 BC. He told me that the priestess said some funny words and immediately Harry was struck by this feeling that he really truly was a pharaoh and that he needed to make haste in his mission to build a pyramid as a final resting place, because pyramids take a long time to build and need many workers to push rocks around, or something like that. This means Harry is now more important than King Charles and all the British royal family combined.”

Initially, Harry consulted the Montecito city council on his plans to build a pyramid about 455 feet tall consisting of 2.3 million blocks of limestone. Each block would weigh around 2.5 tons (2267.96 kilograms). So 2,300,000 x 2267.96 = 5,216,308,000 kilograms (5,750,000 tons) of material would be required.

Unfortunately for Harry, Montecito town councillors told the ‘pharaoh’ that he cannot build a structure like that in the protected area, so now he has gone to Las Vegas where there is a pyramid already, and a possibility for another one to be built.

Meghan Markle was also told that she was the reincarnation of Queen Cleopatra, and immediately called Jadajada Pinky Smithers, who congratulated her on her new-found status as Queen of Africa.

“The couple daily invite many Californian psychics into their home, and Meghan Markle once invited a voodoo priestess from Haiti so that she can cast a horrid spell on Camilla. Yes, they are very open-minded progressive people, and should be applauded for their wonderful sense of energy,” Scooby added.