Daily Squib Giving Away 100 Free Holidays to Sri Lanka

Ooh! Aren’t you a lucky one? You are about to get the opportunity to win a free holiday in Sri Lanka and enjoy some serious sun and fun by the pool. It’s only the best for our readers. Check this out, bozos! You will be staying at President Gotabaya Rajapaksa’s presidential palace, with all amenities free to use for as long as you want. Yes, you read that right, you will be able to stay at the presidential palace for as long as you want.

The all-inclusive package includes breakfast, lunch, dinner and as much booze as you can drink. All competition winners have to do is walk into any store in the centre of Colombo that has not been completely looted, and take what you can carry.

Rooms at the palace come on a first-come-first-served basis, plus guests may have to share rooms with a minimum of 60-100 Sri Lankans.

There is a luxury pool in the palace, however please be mindful to the 10,000 other Sri Lankan citizens in the pool at all times of the day and night. Urinating and defecating in pools is seen as completely normal behaviour, as well as pinching both nostrils and snotting loudly into the bubbly pool water.

Amongst the finery and paintings of the palace, guests can enjoy the gym facilities for a full workout session if you can find a machine that is not being used by the hundreds of Sri Lankans in the hot sweaty room.

Sri Lanka Palace Hotel Competition Entry

To enter the competition and win an amazing Sri Lankan palace holiday, simply answer this question.

When there’s no food reserves left, what do people do?

a) Riot

b) Loot

c) Topple the government

d) All of the above

Please send your answer on a postcard to Squib Lanka Comp. P.O. Box 342, London, WX3 T2X by the 20th July.