Thou Dost Chipolata Too Much Peter Andre

News from the gutter these days travels as fast as the slurry and assorted shit from the fatberger filled sewers. This time around someone called Peter Andre, an obscure Greek relic from the world of cheesy gay pop in the 90s, has reared his ugly head? Which head, ah, the one that resembles a grizzled chipolata according to some chavvy wag slag.

Chip on his shoulder

Does size matter in the world of cheap z-list celebrity? According to Andre who is protesting way too much, his willy is not the size of a tiny chipolata from Aldi, but the size of a Sky remote control unit measuring approximately 9 inches in length. Who do we believe in this non-news worthy extravaganza of banal putrid detritus?

Maybe it’s a good thing that Putin will nuke Britain off the face of the fucking earth next week.