Man Finds Life on Mars Behind Sofa

DELAWARE - USA - A 34-year-old Goonsville man has claimed he has finally found Life on Mars behind his stained red Ikea sofa.

“I was looking for the CD for two whole days. It’s my favourite David Bowie record and I finally found it in the back crack of my sofa. I felt so liberated, like I had achieved something. Thank you, there really is Life on Mars and even though there were ketchup stains all up the box I just wiped it off and it’s as good as new,” Budd Mayerschlitz, told local news outlets after finding the long lost album.

The good news was also hailed by the man’s long-suffering girlfriend Irene Danitz, who said: “He was getting ready to download the whole album for free from some torrent site but I stopped him. We want Bowie to get some royalties because his shite new album will probably only sell about 50 copies worldwide and downloading music for free is an awful thing to do to artists.”

NASA meanwhile has not found any life on Mars.

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