Madonna Nipple Falls into Man's Drink at Istanbul Bar

ISTANBUL - Turkey - An after concert party for pop starlet Madonna went terribly wrong on Sunday when one of her nipple's popped off into a man's cocktail at a local bar witnesses say.

“She came in with her entourage and ordered everyone a cocktail. She was still wearing her stage clothes and was really hyper. She said she wanted to show everyone a close up of what she did on stage just fifteen minutes ago. She took one of her breasts out. Her nipple looked angry, like it was bruised up and mushrooming out. I just couldn’t stop staring at it as it twitched uncontrollably on her breast, and then we all heard a popping sound. Her nipple shot up in the air and fell down straight into a man’s Pina Colada. He said he wanted a refund after putting the nipple in his mouth with a cocktail stick and chewing it for thirty seconds. He said it tasted like an old salty leather button,” an eyewitness at the bar near Istanbul’s Taksim Square, told Reuters.

Madonna was immediately taken by ambulance to Istanbul General Hospital where surgeons tried frantically to sew the chewed nipple back onto her right breast.

Doctors this morning declined to answer questions about the surgery but Madonna’s spokeswoman, Joyce Green, said: “Last night after her concert, there was an incident at a bar for aftershow drinks. Madonna is doing just fine and will carry on with her tour as planned.”

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