Travolta to Marry Cruise in Church of Scatology Ceremony

LOS ANGELES - USA - In what could be dubbed the gay wedding of the century, Tom Cruise and John Travolta are set to marry, and amongst the famous guests, president Obama is even set to attend.

The wedding of the century will be the highlight of the election year, with president Barack Obama attending at the Church of Scatology cult’s Los Angeles compound.

“This will be a great promotion for Obama’s gay wedding endorsement, and the Church of Scatology is proud to induct our two biggest stars into the anals of American history,” president and CEO of the Church of Scatology, David Miscarriage, told the LA Times.

The wedding is set to take place close to the American elections in November, and president Obama is keen to use the ceremony as a way to push forward his agenda and gain more votes.

“These are two huge Hollywood stars getting married here. John’s going to fly in from his ranch, you know he’s in New York one minute eating at a restaurant, and the next he’s getting a back rub in the Marmont. The guy flies everywhere real quick. As for Tom, well, he’s going to abseil into the wedding from a helicopter, or maybe his stunt double will. It’s going to be a beautiful wedding, there’ll be lots of auditing going on, maybe some Kretans might make an appearance, but I’m sure after the wedding those two will get their E-meters out and start whackin’ away like it was Penu’s birthday,” one of the wedding organisers told CBS news.

Other celebrities and famous people who will attend are Kelly Preston and Katie Holmes who are set to give the two newlyweds their best wishes on their special day.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    21 hours ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    1 day ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.