Travolta to Marry Cruise in Church of Scatology Ceremony

LOS ANGELES - USA - In what could be dubbed the gay wedding of the century, Tom Cruise and John Travolta are set to marry, and amongst the famous guests, president Obama is even set to attend.

The wedding of the century will be the highlight of the election year, with president Barack Obama attending at the Church of Scatology cult’s Los Angeles compound.

“This will be a great promotion for Obama’s gay wedding endorsement, and the Church of Scatology is proud to induct our two biggest stars into the anals of American history,” president and CEO of the Church of Scatology, David Miscarriage, told the LA Times.

The wedding is set to take place close to the American elections in November, and president Obama is keen to use the ceremony as a way to push forward his agenda and gain more votes.

“These are two huge Hollywood stars getting married here. John’s going to fly in from his ranch, you know he’s in New York one minute eating at a restaurant, and the next he’s getting a back rub in the Marmont. The guy flies everywhere real quick. As for Tom, well, he’s going to abseil into the wedding from a helicopter, or maybe his stunt double will. It’s going to be a beautiful wedding, there’ll be lots of auditing going on, maybe some Kretans might make an appearance, but I’m sure after the wedding those two will get their E-meters out and start whackin’ away like it was Penu’s birthday,” one of the wedding organisers told CBS news.

Other celebrities and famous people who will attend are Kelly Preston and Katie Holmes who are set to give the two newlyweds their best wishes on their special day.

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