Travolta to Marry Cruise in Church of Scatology Ceremony

LOS ANGELES - USA - In what could be dubbed the gay wedding of the century, Tom Cruise and John Travolta are set to marry, and amongst the famous guests, president Obama is even set to attend.

The wedding of the century will be the highlight of the election year, with president Barack Obama attending at the Church of Scatology cult’s Los Angeles compound.

“This will be a great promotion for Obama’s gay wedding endorsement, and the Church of Scatology is proud to induct our two biggest stars into the anals of American history,” president and CEO of the Church of Scatology, David Miscarriage, told the LA Times.

The wedding is set to take place close to the American elections in November, and president Obama is keen to use the ceremony as a way to push forward his agenda and gain more votes.

“These are two huge Hollywood stars getting married here. John’s going to fly in from his ranch, you know he’s in New York one minute eating at a restaurant, and the next he’s getting a back rub in the Marmont. The guy flies everywhere real quick. As for Tom, well, he’s going to abseil into the wedding from a helicopter, or maybe his stunt double will. It’s going to be a beautiful wedding, there’ll be lots of auditing going on, maybe some Kretans might make an appearance, but I’m sure after the wedding those two will get their E-meters out and start whackin’ away like it was Penu’s birthday,” one of the wedding organisers told CBS news.

Other celebrities and famous people who will attend are Kelly Preston and Katie Holmes who are set to give the two newlyweds their best wishes on their special day.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    3 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    London 2026 – The City of Shit

    LONDON - England - The capital city of Britain was once a great city but…

    1 week ago

    BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

    MANCHESTER - England - It was a great Labour budget yesterday for the NEETS and…

    2 weeks ago

    This website uses cookies.