Muslim Convert Jackson Got It Wrong : 50 Concerts Not 50 Virgins

Since converting to Islam a year before his death, Michael Jackson has been a devout follower of the Nation of Islam’s watered down version of the faith.

Bad

“Michael may have misunderstood what the O2 concert promoters wanted, maybe Michael interpreted the command to perform 50 concerts as going and martyring himself for 50 virgins in heaven. You see the Muslims believe that if you martyr yourself then you will be greeted in heaven with 50 virgins of your choice. Michael told me in private that he couldn’t wait to get up there and get busy with those young boys. So you see, I think he must have misunderstood plus he was so drugged up he didn’t know if he was coming or going poor blighter,” one of the doctor’s who administered huge doses of drugs to Jackson on a daily basis told Fox News.

It is certainly possible that Michael got the 50 concerts mixed up with 50 virgins, according to a Hollywood Ear and Nose Specialist, Professor Scheisse, Jackson had very poor hearing because of years of auditory abuse in loud venues.

Dangerous

Investigators are toying with the theory that the O2 promoters, AEG, phoned Jackson up and tried to arrange the 50 London concerts, instead of agreeing to the concerts, Jackson thought they were asking him to martyr himself so that he could enjoy eternity with 50 virgins. Some theories say that he had already had his fun on the physical plane and therefore must have thought in his drug addled state that it was a good time to check out for the next episode in funny stuff.

A Saudi Arabian Islamic scholar, Mohammed bin Fuqah, refuted the claims today: “Everyone knows that it’s 72 virgins. Michael even got that wrong. Silly bugger.”

This was all a misunderstanding that could have been avoided with a little more communication. Now the poor promoters AEG have to foot a £300 million bill.

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