No Paparazzi Attend Set-Up Paris Hilton Photo Op!

Paris Hilton was seen to be distraught and staring around wildly in a quiet Beverly Hills street on Sunday evening.

Her eyes were wild as she stumbled around pulling at her hair frantically, recalls the only person who witnessed her getting into her $250,000 Bentley.

Joe is a tramp who sometimes ventures into the quiet street to go through some high class trash cans and get some choice morsels of gourmet cuisine left overs.

We speak to him as he brushes some maggots away from a discarded fillet mignon steak he has recovered. “I saw her come out of a house alone. I was hiding in a bush and this woman went crazy! She started shouting at the driver about there not being any photographers and news people. Her driver tried to tell her that he had called all the news people on the list and he didn’t know why they did not turn up. She got into her car and it looked real special. She was wearing some very fancy clothes as well. She said her name was Paris and kept shouting out how great she was and the paparazzi can all go to hell and stuff.”

We asked Joe if he had a camera so as to take pictures of Paris getting into her Bentley at the time. “No, I once found a camera in a trash can but sold it to a pawn shop to get some more booze. I saw her with my own eyes I tell ya.”

Ms Hilton, who craves attention at all times, has to call photographers and celebrity gossip outlets before she makes any public moves. This time, however, it seems that only one person witnessed her leaving the party she attended.

The Daily Squib gave Joe, who has been walking the streets for 15 years, some money so he can go and buy a fresh steak and maybe some shoes. We thank him for his inadvertent reportage.