Harry Potter is Dead

Daily Squib Exclusive

The hallowed corridors of Bloomsbury Publishing are awash with the sounds of wailing and echoes of despair resonate prior to the final release of its most profitable franchise in its publishing history – the Harry Potter series will be sadly mourned by the executives and directors. The golden goose is finally dead.

Alas, with a puff of smoke and a swish of his wand so too is Harry. This time the
Expelliarmus’ did not work and Voldemort takes out Harry.

Maybe if Harry had tried the
Avada Kadavra spell, things would have been different. Draco tries to create a Horcrux but does not succeed.

Lucius Malfoy finally gets his comeuppance and the mad eyed Bellatrix Lestrange returns with some truly nasty spell work.

At least Harry gets to have his way with Ginny and the memory of Cho Chang is sated before the very end. In order to kill lord Voldemort he has to die as well. Meanwhile, the pockets of J.K.Rowling will resound to a Cha Ching as she skips all the way to the bank.

Harry is finally reunited with his parents and Sirius in the netherworld ghost space of the deathly hallows.

So don’t worry folks, it all works out fine.