Quiet Quitting vs Noisy Quitting

Apparently, according to the mass media ‘quiet quitting’ is at an epidemic level amongst the quietly employed. Ever since the lazy days of the Covid lockdowns, some people realised the futility of tax slavery and are missing those days of not getting out of their slippers.

“I quietly quit months ago. It is much more productive I think than noisy quitting, simply because who needs the hassle of finding another dead end job? I look like I’m working at work, and the managers think I am working but in reality I am miles away in a better place in my mind. I do the bare minimum to just get by. Any chance I get, I am either on a prolonged toilet break or an Italian style lunch break,” an office worker from the City told the Evening Standard.

Millions of workers across the country are quietly quitting the daily grind. Indeed, it seems they have somehow awoken to the uselessness of their day jobs.

“You work in shit, soul-destroying jobs all your life for what? It amounts to absolutely nothing, and when I realised that — I quietly quit. I get to keep my salary and pension, but choose not to make a noisy exit that could get messy. As for the managers or people higher up who bark orders, fuck them. The trick is to nod your head yes every time, but do the exact opposite,” another quietly quitting worker revealed.

If you are experiencing some kind of ennui or crossroads moment in your life, sometimes it pays not to be too hasty. Messy quitters are usually losers. The quiet quitters, however, are the clever ones.