Bernanke Speaks VIX Peaks

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Federal Reserve Chairman, Ben Bernanke has been spinning his magic again as the Fear Index rose by 25% today and the Dow dipped by about 450 points.

“Short everything Bernanke just hit the mic,” a Wall Street trader shouted from the pits yesterday.

What is it with Bernanke one minute they’re telling you everything is great and everyone should pile into the stock market and next the bottom falls out?” a disgruntled investor said nursing a headache and a seriously depleted portfolio.

Another panicking investor remarked: “The end of QE means the end of easy money for the bankers, because they’re the only ones who benefit from it. No one else does.”

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee. DUE TO THE NATURE OF OUR JUVENALIAN SATIRE WE CAN ONLY SURVIVE BY DONATIONS. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING. THANK YOU.
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: us

Recent Posts

Comrade Starmer is No Friend of Meddling Capitalist Enemy the USA

GRIMSDALE - England - Comrade Starmer speaks about the enemy of the People's Republic of…

1 day ago

Trump Issues “Ultimate Bro-Mance Pardon” to Putin, Claims Ukraine Invasion Was Just “Borrowing Crimea for a Home Renovation”

MAR-A-LAGO - USA - President Donald Trump has issued a pardon to Vladimir Putin in…

1 day ago

New Analysis Predicts the Green Economy Will Exceed $7 Trillion Annually by 2030

GENEVA - Switzerland - A newly released report by the World Economic Forum reveals that…

3 days ago

“An OBR official who revealed the lies told by Reeves and Starmer has been liquidated”

LONDON - England - The head of the OBR has been liquidated and processed into…

3 days ago

A Day in the Life of a Woman in Labour’s Benefits Britain

ESSEX - England - Thanks to Labour's budget, taxpayers will foot the bill for more…

4 days ago

GameZone Casino Popularity Grows Across Online Communities

MANILA - Philippines - GameZone Casino is growing in popularity across many online communities as…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.