Finance Experts: Cypriot Rejection of Bank Levy Means Bank Depositors Could Lose Everything

LIMASSOL - Cyprus - By defying the EU and reneging on their promises to pay back the ECB, the bankrupt banks may never open again leaving depositors high and dry, EU finance experts have revealed.

“There are a few reasons all banks will be shut for the next week in Cyprus. Firstly, there would be capital flight en masse, then there would be financial melt down because a lot of the money that depositors put into the Southern Greek banking system does not exist any more. It was lost to the Greek bond bailouts. So if you as a depositor put your life savings into one of these banks, the bank used your money already. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about it because the banks themselves are bankrupt unless they get more money from the ECB to pay depositors. This is the reason they cannot open the banks again because there is nothing to give to you,” a Laiki Bank official said from his luxury yacht moored in Paphos.

Because Greek Cypriot ministers rejected the proposed bank levy, the liquidity in the Cyprus banking system is now zero, or minus.

“We now stand to lose the whole deposit of our accounts because of the rejection of the 10% bank levy. I guess we will have to kiss Russian ass huh,” a depressed kebab shop owner told Cyprus Daily newspaper.

EU officials were said to be actually quite glad that the Cypriots rejected the deal and look forward to the next round of events.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: eu

Recent Posts

Who Gave the EU the Right to Dictate its Totalitarian Rules on the Internet?

BRUSSELS - Belgium - The EU has ruined the internet with its myriad of totalitarian…

14 hours ago

Beyond Satire: Home Office Can’t Find Rwanda Migrants

DOVER - England - According to reports, the Home Office can't find thousands of Rwanda…

21 hours ago

Experts: General AI Will Soon be Integrated Into Everything

LONDON - England - General AI is on the verge of being introduced into all…

1 day ago

ANALYSIS: Was Prince Harry Making a Statement in Latest Address?

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry made a new appearance wearing military medals on his…

4 days ago

Triggered Woke People and Eco Zealots Encouraged to Choose Euthanasia

SCUNTHORPE - England - A Labour think tank details its proposals for the government to…

5 days ago

Rat Sadiq Khan Set to Win Again as Mayor of London

LONDON - England - The vile reign of rat Sadiq Khan as Mayor of London…

5 days ago

This website uses cookies.