Why Default Will Be Good For America

Professor Dean Finklestein, a leading economist at the Policy Research Institute think tank based in Washington DC, who has studied U.S. debt over a forty year period, claims that America needs to default so that they can clean the slate and start back over again.

“Clean slate”

“When we default, that means we can’t pay any more cash to anyone because we’re frickin’ bust. It’s pretty simple really. This way we go back to square one and start over. No one will be the wiser. Hell, we can even print more money and start spending recklessly once again. Obamacare cost America $13 trillion since its inception and is set to cost even more when it starts to materialise. When we default, Obama can start on his other pet project, giving amnesty to the millions of illegal immigrants already within our borders. Once that happens, say adios Americanos gringos because every wetback the other side of the Rio Grande will want in. Y’all can be sure of that,” the professor said, at a recent Institute meeting before being shot in the kneecap by a Mexican drug dealer.

“It’s all over, folks”

It’s not just America’s hierarchy that is defying the debtors, ordinary Americans are defiant with regards to wanting the country to default, and are adamant that a major U.S. default would be a great benefit to the economy. A recent poll qualified the fact, and revealed that 85% of Americans wanted a default, however when asked whether they knew what a default was, 94% said they had no idea, it just sounded good.

“By defaulting on the money owed to China, the U.S. will effectively wipe the slate clean and get away with having to pay the Chinese the trillions of owed dollars of their money. The Chinese have been funding Obama’s spending spree for the past two and a half years and let’s not forget prior to that old Georgie boy and his warmongers. By defaulting, we might even take China down with us too. They’re getting way too big for their boots anyway. We ain’t going to pay those Chins one dime, it’s time they went back to their piss hole country and sell their useless plastic trinkets to someone else,” a Republican Tea Party member in Boston told Reuters news agency.