Investors Urged to Keep Buying More Stocks

“We got some real bargains here. We need retail investors to buy as much as they can. Re-mortgage the house, liquidate the college fund, sell your goddam wife if you have to. Just keep buying stocks because if you don’t, who the hell are we going to sell them to?” a panicked hedge fund manager for Barnes Mathers Funds told Business Week.

One private investor is buying up stocks like nobodies business, Arnie Schintz, 48, from New York is a dentist with cash to spend.

“I get calls every day telling me to buy, so I do. I have so much spare money that I don’t know what to do with it. The brokers keep telling me the market is going to shoot up and I should fill my boots with as much stock as I can manage and then some. Wow, I can’t wait till the market goes up again, they keep telling me it’s the bottom of the market, I’m going to be rich beyond my wildest dreams and there is nothing to worry about. I trust these guys.”

Goldman Sachs is also telling its clients to buy, buy, buy. Definitely advice that is as good as a bar of pure gold.

So, what investments are hot at the moment? Pretty much anything in the tech industry is a buy, just pick any stock whilst blindfolded then press the trigger, you’re good to go.

Don’t forget though, stocks only go up and there is little or no risk of the Dow, NASDAQ or S&P dropping by 90% in the next month.