David Cameron: “I Will Pay £1.7 Billion EU Bill”

ELLESBOROUGH - England - Speaking at the PMs official country residence at Chequers, David Cameron has revealed his resolve to pay the £1.7 billion bill the EU has so generously gifted to the UK.

It would not be impossible to prove with sufficient repetition and a psychological understanding of the people concerned that a square is in fact a circle. They are mere words, and words can be moulded until they clothe ideas and disguise

“Let’s face it, it’s not that large amount of money, it only means it’s one thousand seven hundred million pounds sterling. That’s what I’ll put on the cheque because we have gained so much from the EU. This money is so much better used in Brussels to be given to our French chums, it’s called redistribution of wealth, where we make the money, and they lose it for us. That money wasn’t going to be used by Britain any way, we don’t have any problems here, you know we want to help the EU’s profligate countries who sure like to spend spend spend, whilst Britain saves for a rainy day and then has that money removed unceremoniously I might add. Today is a rainy day, so thanks for the £1.7 billion bill, we are honoured to give our money away into a vast black hole where we will never see any return or gratitude,” David Cameron told the BBC, on Tuesday.

The prime minister is so devoted to the EU project that he now wants to champion a dedicated EU tax, where money that Britons make will be channelled straight to EU coffers and the bank accounts of unelected EU technicians.