Harry and Meghan Could Move to Iraq Next

It’s gloriously sunny in the Sunni Triangle (possibly due to the explosions), and that’s not the only reason Harry and Meghan are planning on moving to Iraq. Sussex insiders have revealed that Iraq’s Sunni Triangle is now deemed as infinitely better than the Cotswolds by Harry and Meghan, who have caused absolute mayhem in the area since their arrival from Montecito, California.

“The consensus is that if Meghan needs something from the local shop in the Cotswolds, a convoy of 14 vehicles is sent to purchase the item. If she wants a Starbucks, it has to be piping hot at a certain temperature that she herself records with a thermometer; therefore, she or some trusted lackey has to be sent in another convoy of vehicles to purchase the cup of coffee,” a trusted aide revealed on Monday.

Property along the Tigris River near Baghdad is relatively cheap, and one can purchase a medium-sized palace for just over $3 million. Some of Uday Hussein’s old palaces still stand, as well as his brother Qusay.

“It’ll be good for Harry; he could maybe shoot more rag heads for fun,” the aide added.

The Sussexes are currently low on cash, having squandered over £78 million over the last few years and the failed Daily Mail court case, which has left Harry with a bruising £37 million bill; destitution is already on the horizon. According to insiders, Meghan is already looking for a billionaire, and it’s not Harry. To stave this threat off, Harry wants the Iraqi move to materialise.

“They tried the King Charles route, but Camilla and William saw through it immediately. There’s nothing for the pair of grifters in the UK or the USA any more, and this is why Iraq is now on the list,” royal commentator Barnabas Fitzjohn Fitzroy revealed in his column on Sunday.