“Comrades, I Am Happy That All the Wealthy Scum and Business is Leaving!”

The filthy capitalist scum business owners are leaving Britain for other countries because of my far-leftist Marxist policies. This is the best news ever for me, and it shows that the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain is well on the way to transitioning to full communism from socialism.

I always remember what the great soviet revolutionary hero Vladimir Lenin said: “The goal of socialism is communism” and even though you are now a long gone skeleton, today, I honour your words and the true communist ideology is still standing strong with the Labour Party.

In the past 12 months, 6,100 company directors have left the UK, up from 4,300 during the same period the previous year – an increase of 42 per cent. More than 250,000 wealthy people left the country last year after Rachel Reeves’s raid on non-doms. Also, the PRSB has lost an estimated 10,800 millionaires in 2024, and a further 16,500 in 2025. Entrepreneurs are leaving by the thousand daily, whilst unskilled men from the Third World are arriving daily, some of them dangerous rapists and murderers — Labour welcomes them with open arms and free benefits.

Thanks to my wonderful policies, no one wants to do business in the PRSB. Good! Maybe go and do business in the vile capitalist Yankee nation where that foul orange man lives. Rich people are thieves, they are vile capitalist pigs. Punish them, flay them, beat them. During our transition to full communism, we will eradicate all wealth in soviet Britain, we will eradicate democracy and elections, and we will make bloody sure that the horrific royal family are dealt with.

Remember, comrades — as Lenin said: “The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation.”

I am proud to announce that my policies have resulted in growth in debt and in unemployment.

Wealth creation and aspiration is a sickness that I will crush with the soviet hammer. We must have equality in Soviet Britain — equality in poverty for all (except for high party officials).

URGENT SOVIET BRITAIN BULLETIN

CONNIE MILKSOPPERWORTH, 14, OF TROTSKY AVENUE, SECTOR 29, AMBRIDGE, HAS BEEN AWARDED TWO BOXES OF TRIPLE-USED TOILET PAPER AND AN INCREASE IN SUGAR RATIONS OF 0.034 GRAMS. SHE REPORTED HER MOTHER, FATHER, FOUR BROTHERS, TWO SISTERS, THE LOCAL BUTCHER, AND SIXTEEN UNEMPLOYED PEOPLE FOR ASPIRING TO COMMIT WEALTH UPON THEMSELVES AND OTHERS BY CONSPIRING TO START A BUSINESS. THEY WERE REMOVED FROM THEIR ABODE AND LIQUIDATED INTO NET ZERO JUICE — THAT COOL, REFRESHING DRINK. REMEMBER – LOOK, LISTEN AND REPORT!