Elon Musk to Move Twitter HQ to Mars

HESPERIA PLANUM - Mars - Billionaire Elon Musk, fed up with trivialities like blue check marks, is now planning to move the Twitter HQ to the red planet.

After acquiring the troubled social network Twitter for an overvalued cool $44 billion, space mogul Elon Musk is now planning a move for the company’s headquarters to the planet Mars. This rather drastic move to a planet 87.914 million km from Earth will be quite a challenge for the Twitter CEO.

“Well, it was a toss up actually with Uranus and a few other places, but hey why not Mars? I have so much money, I can do what I fuckin’ want,” the billionaire said from the SpaceX launch zone in Arizona.

Twitter staff will be put on a one-way space journey to Mars, where the Twitter headquarters will be based, Elon Musk’s SpaceX announced today.

Out of sight out of mind

For those remaining back on the planet Earth, once the tweety bird flies, communications will be limited.

“If you send a Tweet from Mars, it will reach Earth in about 5 to 20 minutes depending on planet positions, however communications can also be delayed by the numerous dust storms on the Martian surface,” a SpaceX Twitter scientist revealed.

“See You At The Party, Richter.”

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING. THANK YOU. Biden Censorship | Starmer Censorship | Google Censorship
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Why I had to dump the “Jonah” Commissar Reeves from the China begging trip

BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer explains why he dumped "Jonah" Commissar Reeves from the…

19 hours ago

Comrade Starmer Visiting Communist Comrades in China

BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer is on a visit to the communist country as…

3 days ago

Open Borders Socialist Spain Fast Tracks Half a Million Illegal Migrants Coming to UK

MADRID - Spain - The far-leftist socialist government has fast-tracked citizenship for over half a…

3 days ago

Socialist Tory Party Disgusted as Conservative Defects to Brigand Bandit Group

LONDON - England - Comrade Badenoch of the Socialist Tory Party is very angry that…

4 days ago

The Hypocrisy of Leftists Regarding Deportations

MINNEAPOLIS - USA - It's okay to have 3.1 million ICE deportations under Obama, but…

5 days ago

Comrades, Stasi Units On Alert After Traitor Tries to Invoke Democracy

MANCHESTER - England - The People's Republic of Soviet Britain is currently under a state…

5 days ago

This website uses cookies.