Elon Musk to Move Twitter HQ to Mars

HESPERIA PLANUM - Mars - Billionaire Elon Musk, fed up with trivialities like blue check marks, is now planning to move the Twitter HQ to the red planet.

After acquiring the troubled social network Twitter for an overvalued cool $44 billion, space mogul Elon Musk is now planning a move for the company’s headquarters to the planet Mars. This rather drastic move to a planet 87.914 million km from Earth will be quite a challenge for the Twitter CEO.

“Well, it was a toss up actually with Uranus and a few other places, but hey why not Mars? I have so much money, I can do what I fuckin’ want,” the billionaire said from the SpaceX launch zone in Arizona.

Twitter staff will be put on a one-way space journey to Mars, where the Twitter headquarters will be based, Elon Musk’s SpaceX announced today.

Out of sight out of mind

For those remaining back on the planet Earth, once the tweety bird flies, communications will be limited.

“If you send a Tweet from Mars, it will reach Earth in about 5 to 20 minutes depending on planet positions, however communications can also be delayed by the numerous dust storms on the Martian surface,” a SpaceX Twitter scientist revealed.

“See You At The Party, Richter.”

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Woman Happy to Get Microchip Implanted into Her Brain

    LOS ANGELES - USA - A woman is going to have an experimental operation with…

    11 hours ago

    The Terrifying Rise of the Communist Green Gulag Party

    LONDON - England - The rise of the communist Green Party led by Marxist Zack…

    19 hours ago

    Just Another Horrific Day in London

    LONDON - England - The horrific experience of living in Broken Britain's capital city is…

    2 days ago

    After 250 Years Broken Britain’s King Visits the Former British Colony

    WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - King Charles III visits the former British colony of America.

    3 days ago

    The Redefining of Competitive Advantage through Technology Convergence

    GENEVA - Switzerland - A World Economic Forum report finds competitive advantage is shifting from…

    3 days ago

    Gaia-X Appoints New Chair of Governmental Advisory Board to Lead Next Phase of Data Space Adoption

    BRUSSELS - Belgium - Gaia-X AISBL convened its Governmental Advisory Board in Brussels, where participating…

    3 days ago

    This website uses cookies.