Globalism Update: We’ve Got Four Years Work to Catch Up

Hi, it’s your globalist masters here. We finally kicked out that irritation we had in the White House. It was certainly not easy work, and we had to spend billions of dollars paying off the right people, but we eventually got the job done. What with cutting off the voice of the dissenters and rigging the election we eventually installed our puppet.

The puppet we installed, he’ll be gone soon too, but let’s keep quiet about that one for now.

So, it’s back to globalisation folks, especially in America, we have a lot of catching up to do. What with reversing everything the idiot in the White House did in four years, we have a lot of laws, legislation, gun grabbing, nationalistic foreign policy to reverse.

First off on our agenda — China, you’re back in the fold. You have already pilfered all our intellectual property and military secrets, but we’re going to have to give you more secrets to bolster your military further. We’re also going to have to invite your key workers (CCP spies) back into our companies and universities. America will also revert to the trading system before Trump came into office and messed things up. You need to make money off our backs as we fire our workers and give you all the business, we understand. This is globalism after all.

Our model for the world is China, a country that has always been our darling. We will increase censorship, and model everything on your evil communist system. Citizen credit scores, slave labour, midnight disappearances, and communist re-education camps for all those adorable American patriots.

We will also install a 5G Chinese mast in every neighbourhood so all the lovely globalised citizens living there can get tumours in a few years, if they’re lucky.

So, there you go globalist comrades, fellow Bilderbergers, Tony Blair, Obama, Xi Jinping and all the others, we have a lot of work ahead of us, as soon as China Joe is inaugurated illegally, we will start rebuilding the NWO.