Cameron Forgot EU Referendum Paper at Pub

David Cameron left the eight-year-old draft EU Referendum in the pub following a Sunday lunch, after a mix-up with his wife Samantha, Downing Street has admitted.

According to witnesses, the pub crowd were chanting for a referendum on the EU at the chillaxing Cameron when he whipped it out of his underpants and started shouting “Never, never, never!” before storming out in a huff with his wife Samantha and daughters.

The prime minister rushed back to the Plough Inn in Cadsden, Buckinghamshire, where he found his draft manuscript in the pub toilets.

A Downing Street spokesman said: “The prime minister and Samantha were distraught when they realised the referendum paper wasn’t with them.

“Thankfully when they phoned the pub it was there safe and well. The prime minister went down straight away to get it and take it back to Chequers to be shredded once and for all.” Downing Street said the incident happened “a couple of days ago”.

The story could prove embarrassing for the prime minister, coming on the same day as the government flatly denied the existence of such a document.

There will be no EU Referendum we’re afraid ladies and gentlemen.