World

EU Running Out of Things to Regulate

BRUSSELS - Belgium - The EU is running out of things to regulate with its regulations directives, an unelected Eurocrat has revealed.

The ridiculous amount of EU regulations for everything are running out according to an EU bureaucrat.

“Ve haff run out of things to regulate. My expense account and salary depend on regulating things, and if ve haff nothing else to regulate ve vill haff to regulate ourselves and this is ein dangerous thing. Your papers are not in order!!”

The EU bureaucrat, Johan Meinhoff, has called an immediate meeting to discuss this cataclysmic disaster, and was seen goose stepping into a consultation room on Monday.

There are currently 235 million regulations within the EU for goods and services.

Examples of EU Regulation: Toothpaste has 670,530 EU regulations, and pillows have 450,128. Men’s underpants have 870,934 EU regulations, and doormats only a measly 329,194. Umbrellas however have a whopping 976,493 regulations and vibrating sex toys 745,900 regulations.

Jean Claude Juncker on Monday attended the regulation meeting, and has actually suggested an eu regulation on regulations.

*Burp* “Excuse moi, my breakfast of filet de maigre parfumé au ras-el-hanout fenouil et riz rouge de camargue avec boudin noir, oeuf frit, salade d’asperges crues et chutney de tomate epicée washed down with a jug of Remy Martin Louis XIII cognac, came up slightly. Je however pense that we in the EU regulate our regulations with more regulations on top of the regulations we have already added.” *burp*

The consensus in the EU is that more regulations are needed in order to keep useless people in high paying useless jobs — regulating.