Theresa May Plans to Win Over EU — By Dancing

Theresa May is a desperate woman. Her awful Chequers Plan has not only been rejected by most parliamentarians but to cap it all off, by the EU.

This rejection has eaten into the heart of the PM, but she plans on a very cunning plan to win over her EU masters. Dance.

By simply going to Brussels with nothing but her best tap shoes, May plans on wowing the EU consigliere with her exquisitely crafted dance moves.

“It will be like a cross between Britain’s Got Talent and a funeral, although I have to say there is not much difference between those two choices. We are hoping that the EU master-baiters will be so enthralled and mesmerised by the snake like movements of Mrs May, they will forget about the intricacies of the Northern Irish border deal and accept her BRINO deal,” Chief Remoaner in charge of Brexit, Olly Robbins told the Daily Mirror on Friday.

Some of the suggested dancing styles could even involve something called ‘twerking’ which is an Afro-Caribbean dance wherein the female thrusts her rear into the air and jiggles it around.

“If Theresa May twerks in front of Juncker this could cause him to vomit out his liquid lunch. It would prove a valuable distraction and we could plonk on his desk a signed Brexit deal,” Robbins added.