Terror as Murdoch Empire Threatens to Pull News Sites from Internet

LONDON - England - There was terror in the Google head office and internet today after Rupert Murdoch threatened to pull all of his media outlets from the web search engines.

"You will subscribe to our internet news!"

What’s the internet going to be like without Fox News, the Sun and the Times? How will people be able to live without the daily rants of the Murdoch empire’s newspapers?

The terrible news that Rupert Murdoch is planning to charge people to view his newspapers online came as an utter shock to many.

Can you imagine anyone paying to view a single page of Fox news or the Sun?

The biggest disappointment of all was finding out that there would not be any Sun slideshows available anymore for free. One of the Daily Squib staffers was inconsolable: “I first read the news that the old lizard wanted to get everyone to pay for his newspapers on the net. I immediately shouted out the words ‘No more slide show!’ and crumpled down onto the floor in a heap of utter despair.”

Internet readers all over the world were mourning the proposed loss of all Murdoch news online yesterday.

“This is a sad loss for the internet to lose the news from all of Rupert Murdoch’s media outlets being pumped out day after day, second after second. Now we have to work out a way of getting him to take away his hard copy newspapers as well from public circulation. I think if that ever happened there would be celebrations all over the f*cking world,” another avid internet newshound told our reporter.