Germans Could Have Defeated Britain With Snow in WW2

BERLIN - Germany - Hitler was planning to defeat Britain in World War II by utilising a fleet of snow machines, historians for Berlin's Institute of Nazi History have revealed after secret plans were discovered on an excavated site.

A prototype Snow Zeppelin hangs over the sea where it would suck up gallons of water before turning it into snow.

Secret plans that were uncovered by the team of historians and archaeologists working on the project have disclosed how close Britain was to being completely conquered by the Germans in 1944.

“Hitler had commissioned his best scientists to build huge snow machines which would belch out tonnes of snow from the sky. These zeppelin type flying machines produced perfect snow that would disrupt Britain’s ability to function and render the nation useless. We can see from the two days of snow you have had recently how your whole British infrastructure, transport system has been rendered useless with just a few inches of snow,” Jens Guttman, a senior professor for the project told the Daily Squib.

“Don’t mention the snow”

The evil plan to to snow down the British Isles by the Nazis was however rendered useless because of a SIS raid which took out the top secret labs in Northern Germany towards the end of the war.

Professor Guttman discovered in recovered plans, the key points which thwarted Hitler’s strategy: “Hitler was getting desperate to conquer Britain towards the end of the war. He had already been defeated by the Soviet Russians and wanted one last chance to conquer something at least. Top scientists devised the ‘snow’ plan but a team of British agents infiltrated the unit and sabotaged the labs as well as killing the scientists. By that time Hitler was holed up in his bunker and was eating humble pie before he chose to end his life.”

There are only fragments of the plans for the snow machines recovered from the excavated labs but the team has painstakingly put them together again.

Snow Zeppelin Facts

– The Snow Zeppelins were the length of three football pitches and could create enough snow to cover 400 square miles each.

– Hitler’s snow plan involved the construction of twenty of these monstrous machines which would cover the whole of Britain twice over with snow.

– German agents had summised that the British were absolutely useless with snow and that this would be an opportunity to leave them completely defenceless.

– Each Snow Zeppelin would take about four months to construct.

– The Snow Zeppelins were manned by a crew of 45. The snow was to be shovelled out manually from the zeppelins once over Britain by the crew.

– The specially trained crew festgefahrener Schnee handlers were an elite troop manning the zeppelins.