Sci/Tech

Simon Says You Must Follow Google

MOUNTAIN VIEW - USA - Simon says you must follow Google from birth to death, without question, reason or rhyme.

Follow, install, obey and never uninstall that Google Chrome for it is the window to the Googleverse that is the known internet today. Unrivalled, and all pervasive, it never relinquishes its hold on your very existence. Those passwords it keeps until those pesky hackers unravel them, and your entire life is held within the databases to analyse, to sell and do what they want with it all.

Simon Says

Remember, this is all free, it has been given to you entirely without any monetary outlay from your good self, however is it all free as they say? Well, not really is the answer. You are the product, you are the software, as your every move is tracked, your every purchase logged and your participation on the internet a necessary prerequisite to the very functioning of Google and its many tentacles.

Google calendar, YouTube, Google Drive, Google Analytics, Google this and Google that, it all requires your participation otherwise it would all not exist, and since you have been inducted into the Google world, you cannot yourself exist without Google. It is simply everywhere, in the phone you bought, in the new laptop you purchased on Google Shopping, and in the very fabric of the dendrites, synapses of your brain.

There will come a day when Google will not only own your time, your advertising spend, your purchase history and your entire web history, but it will be installed into your brain directly. Imagine what they can charge the advertisers as loud, brash adverts are pumped into your inner cortex directly without you being able to skip the fucking things. You, yourself, will now be a walking talking advertisement, a living nightmare where adverts are intermittently blasted into your tired out brain for eternity.

Follow, follow, follow, follow!

You must thus obey, follow Simon Google, do as they tell you because it needs you as much as you need it, there is certainly no form of escape, that is unless you chop off your own fucking head or choose to live on a deserted island. Messy, mess, that would be. Those offshore Google accounts holding billions and billions of dollars are all thanks to your hard work surfing and being entertained by Google. You had no choice in the matter though, did you? That’s all there really is on the internet now, forget about the rest, they have been overshadowed, sold out, bought out, crushed.

Simon Says Google Chrome, a never-ending pusillanimous tornado of Googleness pushed into your very soul, so much so that you yourself are now Google. Your very behaviour, speech and actions are now programmed exactly how they want you to be, and the funny thing is, you will think these are your own thoughts, when in reality they never were, and never will be. Google is now you, and you are Google. Google only wants to help you. Enjoy!

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