The Cummings and Goings of an Alien Visitor to Number 10

Dominic Cummings has certainly shown off his plutonic alien skills off recently by putting everyone in government in the shit box, stirring it around with his magic alien wand, then flinging it around all over the place.

Arriving in a shiny craft that did not have any visible propulsion, Cummings used his deadly Mekon psychotic stare to scare as many people into submission as possible during the Health and Science Select Committee meeting.

Forget the pandemic and the thousands that have died since its outbreak, the reporters and media were more concerned with who Cummings and his infinite knowledge was going to throw under the bus with his laser like put downs and pre-prepared speeches, much of which sounded highly contrived, almost rehearsed ad infinitum.

Perhaps this alien was conducting this theatrical display for the good of the country, an altruistic exercise in decency, however many will suspect this was solely for the alien’s well-being. Here he was, once a master of all in government, now sadly just a simple alien from outer space whose time on earth was now up.

As Cummings left the hearing, a bright purple light appeared seemingly out of nowhere, and above the venue, a craft once again appeared. Cummings was taken into the spinning craft head first resembling some kind of grotesque reverse birth, and 15 Pentagon men suddenly appeared around the corner all filming the event. No doubt the Pentagon will be leaking the video to CNN soon enough.