Apple iCloud Starts Raining

“This new Apple iCloud is looking pretty heavy. If it starts raining, we could all get soaked and drenched with all of your user data,” Steve Jobs told an auditorium full of journalists and geeks.

People are so excited about the new Apple iCloud, that they have even started to gather around the Apple offices in Cupertino, California, trying to spot a few iClouds.

“I’ve been here all day and haven’t seen a single iCloud,” Al Hinkum, a software engineer from San Francisco, told Wired magazine.

The era of the Personal Computer, however, is over, and now is the time for an introduction into the hive cloud mind of the future, where everyone will be connected, monitored, enticed and ultimately controlled via a central neural network.

“We’ve got people used to the ‘personal computer’ where they kept their little thoughts and files on a hard disk. That was the introduction. Now, we want you to get rid of the hard disk, instead, put it in the cloud. That is the next step. Then after this transition, we will introduce the special chip, which will be implanted into your brain. Intel and many other tech companies have already been developing this brain microchip implant, and when it is introduced, you will all find it irresistible because we will utilise ‘entertainment’ and ‘sex’ to entice you into it. We already know a lot about you from social surveillance websites like Facebook, but we want a lot more. Just think, you won’t need cumbersome computer screens, TVs or so-called smart phones, the chip will be your passport to the future of the new hive human race,” Edwin Scheister, an analyst for the Research Institute of Northern California told CNN.