Peasants Told to Celebrate Royal Wedding

LONDON - England - The nation's peasants were on standby this month as the powers that be ordered them to celebrate the royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton.

“I’s be honoured to stand along the route of the royal carriage and wave me flag for the newlyweds,” Ivor Munter, 32, a peasant from Isleworth, West London, told the BBC.

According to the palace, the peasants won’t just be celebrating in the streets, but some have also been invited to attend the wedding itself, Kate Middleton and her family are so lucky.

One of Us

“Kate’s even invited her local dustman, butcher and road sweeper from her village, as well as members of her family. It’s going to be a grand affair and a right royal knees up, innit” Jack Mungo, a postman from Dagenham told the Sun.

All over Britain, there will be street parties laid out for the starving peasants.

“I ain’t eaten for a fortnight. I’ll be glad to get a bit o’ bread and soup when the wedding happens in a few weeks. Our feudal lords are so good to us,” Harry Pilchard, a peasant from the village of Ginster in Yorkshire, told the BBC.