Alaskan Calendar Girl Melts GOP Igloo

ANCHORAGE - Alaska - It's fu**ing freezing here in Alaska so what better remedy for a shivering igloo than a hot Alaskan beauty to warm the cockles of your heart.

Here in Anchorage where it gets so cold some nights that sneezing can result in your nose being propelled across your freezing cabin, you have two options, get so fu**ing drunk on booze that you pass out completely or get some prime hot Alaskan, gun toting, oil loving, ice hockey cheering lass to take the icicles off your nether regions.


“This gal is something special, she’s got a certain Alaskan hotness that will make an eskimo’s igloo melt. Yes, she’s even met Republican candidate John McCain once, but they had to wheel him away before his old ticker gave away. I’ve seen some girls in my time, but when I saw the 2008 calender of this hot momma in the Fox news janitor’s office I immediately borrowed a few pages and had to rush off to the Fox news restroom for some relief. Don’t worry I replaced the calendar intact and did not splash at all,” Fox news anchor, Burt O’Heenahee recounted on Fox GOP Talk on Friday.

‘Mujeres bonitas’

“Can I take a trip on your North Pole”

“I can make your oil well blow”

“Drilling for oil in the Deep Alaskan Tundra”