Northern Rock to be Renamed Northern Pebble

NEWCASTLE - England - Adam Applegarth, the Chief Executive of the Northern Rock Bank, has agreed to proposals for changing the company name to Northern Pebble.

General Petraeus Updates George W Bush on Successful US Defeat in Iraq

ANBAR PROVINCE - Iraq - The Americans have declared The Surge a victory for US failure in Iraq. The US is now officially winning the defeat and have proudly proclaimed success in losing the war.

New Study Reveals Junk Food Bad for You

SCUNTHORPE - England - According to a new study by an independent research group, junk food is not good for you.