Obama Thanks Ku Klux Klan for Election Support

CHICAGO - USA - White supremacists across America have been rejoicing at the news that Barack Hussein Obama is to be the next president of the United States of America.

US Election Results Leaked Early

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Despite election results being leaked by the automated voting software owners, Diebold, the respective candidates, John McCain and Barack Obama have agreed to carry on pretending to campaign in the last few hours before the voting booths open.

President Obama to Appear on MTV Cribs From White House

WASHINGTON DC - USA - When he's not pimpin' his ride or his wife, President Obama likes to relax in the White House gold plated jacuzzi and smoke some prime ganja whilst thinking about the next bombing campaign in the Middle East.