Merry Christmas From the Daily Squib Lapland Theme Park

OFF JUNCTION 23 OF THE M5 - England - All Daily Squib readers are invited to our version of Lapland. A place where you can smell the booze and fags off Santa's yellow nicotine stained beard or be bitten by one of the starving Rottweilers doubling up as an Alaskan Huskie.

Daily Squib Hedge Fund Not Taking Anymore Clients

NEW YORK - USA - The Daily Squib Hedge Fund has had to turn away investors and billionaires from its highly successful scheme due to high demand.

School’s Egg and Knife Race Ends With Multiple Deaths

MANCHESTER - England - A North Manchester school has failed to break all previous stab records today after a frenzied competition at the school's annual Egg and Knife race.

Iran Can Launch Shoe Attack at Anytime

TEL AVIV - Israel - Iran has now produced roughly enough material to make, with added leather purity, a single attack shoe that could devastate the West, according to footwear industry experts analyzing the latest report from global shoe inspectors.

Shoes Thrown at Sarah Palin

WASILLA - USA - A pair of shoes were thrown at Sarah Palin today at a news conference.

Fed Cuts Rate to ‘Minus 1.5’

NEW YORK - USA - US interest rates were cut to a historic low of -1.5% as America resorted to drastic action in its battle to stave off a crippling recession and deflation.

Camilla Photographed Looking in Mirror

HIGHGROVE - England - Camilla Parker Bowles was a picture of health today as she was photographed admiring herself in the mirror.

Joe the Arsonist Spotted at Sarah Palin’s Church

WASILLA - USA - There were unconfirmed reports today from the local Alaskan media that a man named Joe the Arsonist was spotted just before Sarah Palin's local church went up in flames.

Dubya to Play In World Champion US Dodgeball Team

WASHINGTON DC - USA - President George W Bush has been enrolled to play for the US Dodgeball Masters team in this years competition.

He’s Madoff With My Money

NEW YORK - USA - Wealthy socialites in New York and Florida all want to meet the man who is the toast of the town at the moment, Bernard Madoff.