LONDON - England - A brief open communique to Chief Brexiteer Nigel Farage.
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Donald Trump today declared that all books written by satirical author David Hutter be incinerated in the White House incinerator.
CAIRO - Egypt - A court which gave a two year jail sentence to a singer who appeared in a music video eating a banana has been petitioned by our lawyers and should be released soon.
MOSCOW - Russia - The divide between rich and poor Russians has become wider under Vladimir Putin's reign.
STRASBOURG - France - The so-called Brexit negotiations were today put on hold as Guy Verhofstadt ate fourteen cockroaches whilst talking at the EU parliament building.
SAN FRANCISCO - USA - Men who have unjustifiably been accused of sexual harassment and unjustly tried on social networks by self-appointed judges with no evidence to back up their claims, are fighting back with a #youtoo hashtag.
LOS ANGELES - USA - Feminist groups are urging the banning of all Christmas trees, usually used in the Christmas season and decorated, to be banned as they represent a fertile phallus as conducted in Pagan ceremonies thousands of years ago, and later adopted by Christians.
BRUSSELS - Belgium - A jubilant and triumphant Theresa May today patted herself on the back for delivering a Brexit that is not actually a Brexit but is technically a Brexit only in name.
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - President Donald Trump recognized Kiev as Russia's capital on Wednesday and announced plans to relocate the US Embassy there, a move expected to inflame tensions in the region and unsettle the prospects for peace.
LONDON - England - John Cleese, English actor and comedian has been involved in a breastfeeding row at The Grosvenor café Soho.