LONDON - England - Millions of Eastern Europeans are queuing up to come to Britain in January 2014 so they can get jobs as low paid MPs in the Houses of Parliament.
Tewkesbury - Gloucestershire - Forget the Maldives for your summer diving hols how about the English countryside? Now that 75% of the English countryside is under water, aquatic tourists from all over the world are flocking in droves for the unique experience.
WORD CUP 2016
LONDON - England - David Cameron's legacy will be one of disgrace, dishonesty, treachery and lies.
WASHINGTON DC - USA - The American economy is losing its hardness and getting flaccid once again, that is according to top economists afraid of a major default after talks between Obama and Boehner broke down.
MANCHESTER - England - Home Secretary Jacqui Smith today awarded a fifteen year old boy an ASBO in recognition for his shooting skills on the public rail system.
WRC Rally Cup
LONDON - England - Just like Nu-Labour's downfall, so too go Oasis, a bunch of has-beens and thugs, who milked as much as they could get out of a few mediocre songs.
LONDON - England - The coming launch of the Apple iWatch will be a lucrative pay day for muggers and criminals worldwide.
OXFORD - England - NHS maternity wards across Britain are awash with the roars of delight from Brian Blessed as he welcomes new life into the world.
LOS ANGELES - CA - A spokesman for Axl Rose has released a statement detailing the release of the new album which has been in production for 14 years.
?You know you’re playing a great game when you can’t even jump over a hole. You can try all day but you will always fall down into the black dimensions of nothingness.
LOS ANGELES - USA - Victoria Beckham was today embroiled in a transatlantic culinary fiasco that has gripped the world's media.
LONDON - England - Useless union boss, Bob Crow is to be phased out by 2017 by an automated computer system.
NEW YORK - USA - The music biz continues its precipitous fall into mediocrity, lip syncing, autotuned hell.
CHICAGO - USA - The US and British governments have finally admitted to the use of camera surveillance equipment in peoples homes.
LONDON - England - Counteracting the Labour party who offered the Lib Dems a trouser press and digital alarm clock radio, the Tories are now offering the Lib Dems a 4-slice toaster and a telephone answering machine.
LOS ANGELES - USA - Investigations into Harvey Weinstein's catalogue of sexual abuse and the link to the 2014 Fappening become increasingly interchangeable.
LOS ANGELES - USA - The sudden fall from grace for this powerful Hollywood executive in the last week has been precipitous, however does this massive negative engagement by the media and female actresses bely an undertone of anti-semitism?
LOS ANGELES - USA - The Weinstein film company has announced the production of a new movie in the making about the trials and tribulations of Hollywood mogul, Harvey Weinstein.
American Socialists Still Confused How Their Favourite Fundraiser Uncovered As Alleged ‘Vile Lecherous Abuser...
LOS ANGELES - USA - The hypocrisy and double standards of the socialist liberal Americans has been laid bare by the Harvey Weinstein debacle.
LOS ANGELES - USA - If you are a fan of the original Blade Runner film 1982 don't even consider watching the long awaited sequel Blade Runner 2049.
LOS ANGELES - USA - Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein has had a little too much exposure than he wanted.
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Another civil war in America is just around the corner, this time, it will be on television.
GIZA - Egypt - The real pyramids will be moved to Las Vegas, USA after a ground breaking deal between casino bosses and the current Egyptian government to safeguard them from civil war.