MANCHESTER - England - Gordon Brown will today falsely claim that taking back control of Britain will lead to the North experiencing a 'Great Depression'.
WASILLA - USA - Sarah Palin is going to be the first female president of the United States of America, and it is no thanks to a poison penned book by serial stalker Joe McGinniss.
WORD CUP 2016
LAS VEGAS - USA - Justice has finally found OJ Simpson thirteen years after his acquittal for the murder of his wife and her boyfriend.
UNITY - New Hampshire - Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have been getting too close for comfort according to Michelle Obama as of late.
WRC Rally Cup
YAMAL - Russia - President Vladimir Putin has extended a hand of great generosity to any Remain voters from the EU Referendum who wish to leave Britain.
VIRGINIA - USA - The former American vice president, Dick Cheney is to run for president in 2012 with Sarah Palin as his vice president say senior GOP officials today.
LONDON - England - Britain's Health and Safety commission has been found to be unsafe and will be disbanded within the year says the Ministry of Common Sense.
DOVER - England - Homeless veterans can be found the length and breadth of Britain, and after serving Queen and Country there is hope yet for these poor lost souls with £150 taxi rides.
WASHINGTON DC - USA - Former British royal family member, Sarah Ferguson, has been invited to join the Obama family during the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, White House officials have announced.
PARIS - France - The Daily Squib has received an exclusive first photograph of one of the armed robbers who tragically stole $43 million worth of jewellery from porn actress Kim Kardashian on Monday.
LATAKIA - Syria - Ever the grand master, Putin has supposedly thrown in the towel in Syria, much to the delight of his adversaries.
LONDON - England - Without a Brexit on 23 June, there will be riots across Britain amongst anarchy and chaos never imagined. No, this is not Project Fear, but a certainty.
LOS ANGELES - USA - Twitter hashtags trending at the moment are threatening to derail the #metoo victim generation.
LONDON - England - Agent Cob, who has been conducting clandestine missions in the UK, could be expelled and returned to Russia.
SIBERIA - Russia - Most of the Russian army are ill trained and poorly equipped compared to Western standards and still using modernized equipment from the 1970s.
MOSCOW - Russia - The World Cup 2018 is set to be a real test for the England squad when they have to play in Hazmat chemical suits.
SYRACUSE - USA - Scientists have revealed that plants scream in pain and emit distressful electrical impulses when chopped up and eaten.
PARIS - France - For over thirty years, the Epica Awards has been a global leader in showcasing creative talent, and in 2018, it is moving to new heights.
BEIJING - China - The brutal communist regime that tortures any dissent and censors free speech is leading globalism today much to the detriment of Western democracy.