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Experts: Mass EU Immigration Anarchists Dream
LONDON - England - Thanks to the perpetual war in Iraq and Syria, Europe is seeing a huge humanitarian crisis caused by unfettered immigration.
British Embassies Dedicated Teams to Help Turkey, Serbia and Others Join...
ANKARA - Turkey - British Embassy staff in multiple non-EU countries, including Turkey and Serbia, are working to facilitate their entry into the European Union. This is despite claims by the IN campaign that there is no prospect of new countries joining the EU in the coming years.
WORD CUP 2016
Prince Andrew: “Phew, At Least I’m Off the Front Pages”
WINDSOR - England - Prince Andrew can breathe a sigh of relief as all is forgotten after the recent Charlie Hebdo shootings.
Netanyahu Talks About Daily Squib at UN
NEW YORK - USA - Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu brought out a prop at the UN to illustrate what he thought of the Daily Squib newspaper.
Taylor Swift Now Dating Kim Jong Un
PYONYANG - N. Korea - American singer Taylor Swift is now officially dating the North Korean dictator her record company has revealed to MTV.
WRC Rally Cup
Corbyn Regurgitates Mush During Labour Conference
BRIGHTON - England - The newly appointed Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn spectacularly regurgitated dollops of yellowish gloopy mush from his mouth during his conference speech.
Nowhere Man From Nowhere Brings Nothing
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Introducing Nowhere Man, who comes from nowhere and stands for nothing.
Mitt Romney Banned From Air Force One
WASHINGTON DC - USA - Presidential candidate, Mitt Romney has been banned from flying on Air Force One by Pentagon officials.
CYCLING TOUR
Experts: Boris Needs Utmost Secrecy to Succeed in October 31 Brexit
LONDON - England - The last leg of the operation to finally enact the result of the EU Referendum as voted by the people on June 23, 2016, must be undertaken in the utmost secrecy. No more blabbing.
Giggling Penalty Losers Laugh at Racist England Fans on Private Jet
TURKS AND CAICOS - While most England fans are still in serious pain, two of the penalty losers were celebrating on a private jet to a luxury resort.
Obama Spent $45 Million US Taxpayer Money On Holidays Cameron Goes On Easyjet
ALVOR - Portugal - The divide between American profligacy and waste culminating in exorbitant opulence can be best illustrated by the Obama presidential travel arrangements offset on his British counterpart, David Cameron, who flies economy class on Easyjet.
Iain Duncan Smith to Do Shelf Stacking Says Cameron
LONDON - England - The former Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Iain Duncan Smith, who was unceremoniously sacked from his post on Friday, will start a new scheme that he helped set up during his tenure in the Cabinet.
Nancy Pelosi Stocking Up on Bug Spray
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi wants to fumigate the White House. Maybe she needs to also look closer to home.
TENNIS
Jesus to Land On Earth Tomorrow at 06.15 (UTC)
WISCONSIN - USA - Christians around the world are preparing for the return of Jesus Christ tomorrow at 06.15 hrs.
Entire UK Population to be Branded
LONDON - England - The whole population and every UK visitor will be branded with an iron, a senior judge has said.
LATEST ARTICLES
Iran Backed Proxies Hijack U.S. Ship in Arabian Sea
U.A.E - Iranian backed proxies have hijacked a U.S. tanker, Asphalt Princess, in the Arabian Sea.
Masturbation Could Boost Your Immune System to Fight COVID
LONDON - England - Medical practitioners have revealed that masturbation boosts the immune system which could help fight Covid.
We’re All Begging Meghan Markle to Apply For U.S. Presidency
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Many, including us, are begging Meghan Markle to apply as a candidate for the U.S. presidency.
Transgender Weightlifting Knight-ess Comes to Save Women’s Olympics
TOKYO - Japan - The women's Olympic weightlifting event will thankfully be saved by a New Zealand transgender woman.
Week VII: The New Words Being Coined in the Wonderful World of Wellbeing
LONDON - England - The Daily Squib is pleased to present a weekly column on Wellbeing with author Adam Jacot de Boinod and meditation coach Emma Ball.
Fully Functional Robots On Cusp of Mass Production
SILICON VALLEY - USA - The exponential increase in technological progress is bringing forth a new age of mass consumer robots.
Royal Family Look Pathetic and Defenceless Against Constant Attack
MONTECITO - USA - The British royal family will eventually succumb to irreparable damage from constant attack.
Russia Ready to Take Antarctica, China Ready to Take Taiwan, Biden Ready to Take...
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - While China and Russia are continuing to make bold strategic moves, Joe Biden is sleeping with another nap.
Biden: “My Butt Has Been Wiped”
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Joe Biden, displayed his world-class credentials to reporters, explaining his current butt situation.
‘Woke’ Athletes Petition For ‘Taking the Knee’ to be New Olympic Sport
TOKYO - Japan - Woke athletes have petitioned for 'taking the knee' to be officially recognised as an Olympic sport.
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COVID: Humans Never Learn
NEW DELHI - India - Despite the current rabid global spread of Covid, humans are in denial and expect life to return to normal.
