BRUSSELS - Belgium - Once again, Theresa May has gone to the EU to beg desperately with her masters for a reprieve to her Irish backstop mess.
VIRGINIA - USA - The Google search engine in China will afford intelligence agencies a perfect window for gathering of crucial data about the regime and its people.
NEW YORK - USA - Indie band The Strokes have all had pacemakers fitted after suffering strokes during a pre-gig practice session, their manager, Bunders Banque, told the NME.
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BRUSSELS - Belgium - European leaders are set to give their approval for Brexit talks to move on to the next phase today after Jean-Claude Juncker said last week's divorce deal amounted to "sufficient progress after massive concessions by the British".
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OAKLAND - USA - In a horrendous show of gluttony and cannibalism, millionaire ant-capitalist broadcaster, Michael Moore attended a protest camp and had a sudden hunger pang that proved fatal to an unlucky protester.
WASHINGTON DC - USA - They wanted Change. Well, they got short change. New president, Barack Obama drops $1.75 Trillion within the first month of entering office. Now that's what we call a budget with bling.
LOS ANGELES - USA - A Japanese American man thought to be the reclusive multi-millionaire father of Bitcoin has been uncovered as an elaborate encrypted hologram that can walk around, and even have conversations with people, reporters have discovered.