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Thursday, April 9, 2020
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secret satire society

Comrade Smith: "My Job Is Done Here"

LONDON - England - Comrade Jacqui Smith, who has been instrumental in bringing Britain into the new era of surveillance and Stasi control, is to leave her post after completing her unholy task.
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There is No Certainty in Remaining in the EU

LONDON - England - There is no certainty under the EU for Britain because of no control, leaving the UK vulnerable to others.

London Mayor Boris Johnson Invites Toronto Mayor Over to Advise on Capital’s Crack Problem

LONDON - England - Mayor Boris Johnson has invited the Canadian Mayor, Rob Ford to come and deal with London's massive crack cocaine problem blighting the inner city.

Notting Hill Carnival Highlights

LONDON - England - Notting Hill was getting ready this week for a bumper festival with thousands of attractions.

Shock Discovery – Global Warming May Be Caused by the Sun Shining

NEW YORK - USA - Scientists have come to the conclusion that the heat from the Sun may be responsible for global warming.

Tips For UK Savers Dealing With a Negative Banking Base Rate

LONDON - England - The Bank of England is planning a negative base rate of minus 8% so if you put your money in the bank and don't touch it, it will disappear soon enough. Here are some tips for the much bedraggled and beaten down saver to avoid this banking calamity.

UK Drivers to be Fined £600 For Driving on Roads

LONDON - England - The government wants to fine UK motorists for driving on the roads, new legislation introduced today in parliament proposes.

Obama: “Y’all Gonna Be Payin’ Tax Soon”

WASHINGTON DC - USA - President Obama wants American millionaires to pay half their yearly income in tax, and is pushing for a more European model of overall taxation.

Shock as Ageing Rock Star Leaves Wife for Teen Temptress

LONDON - England - There was shock news today when an old rock star left his 56 year old wife for a 19 year old teen temptress.
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Time to Leave Britain Miliband Wants 10 Years of Power

MANCHESTER - England - Britain may be condemned to a brain drain never before seen as Ed Miliband, the Labour party's leader wants to rule for ten years he has announced at the Labour party conference.

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Brexit Britain Will Get Its Mojo Back

LONDON - England - Brexit Britain will get its mojo back when it finally leaves the authoritarian EU Soviet bloc and gains its freedom once again.

Socialist U.S. Politician Hospitalised After Face Splits During Speech

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Socialist activist politician, Ocasio-Cortez has succumbed to a terrible face-splitting injury during a speech today and has been hospitalised in an area hospital.

La Guerre: Now is Time For French and UK Military Draft

PARIS - France - In light of the recent attacks on civilians, if there ever was a time for a full military draft and increase in military expenditure now is the time.

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