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Monday, May 21, 2018

Sony Introduce New ADD Television

TOKYO - Japan - Sony Corp. has introduced its latest television model onto the scene that now incorporates Attention Deficit Disorder functions on the remote control unit.

Prince Harry and William: “Let’s Open Up Another Can of Worms From Years Ago”

WINDSOR - England - They say it's good to talk, but careless talk by royals can come home to bite. Prince Harry and William have been caught blabbing too much.

US Says Drone Strike on Guardian Newspaper Terror Camp Was Justified

LONDON - England - Terrorist journalist organisation, the Guardian newspaper's terror training camp in the heart of Shoreditch has been neutralised thanks to a drone strike late last night the BBC reported.
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BAIL-IN: Daily Squib Predicted EU Greek Bank Deposit Raid in 2014

ATHENS - Greece - As predicted by the Daily Squib in 2014, Greek banks are preparing contingency plans for a “bail-in” of depositors amid fears the country is heading for financial collapse.

Kim Jong Un Goes Thermo Nuclear

PYONGYANG - North Korea - Supreme leader of the Communist North Korean dictatorship, Kim Jong Un has taken a dangerous step ahead to become the world's most feared man.

Club Gitmo to be Shutdown Orders Obama

GUANTANAMO BAY - Cuba - News that Barack Obama has ordered the closing of Club Gitmo has caused consternation and alarm amongst the guests.
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Advantages of Free Mobile Games

LAS VEGAS - USA - Casino games online are now everywhere. You can play from your mobile phone or laptop on the beach if you really want to.
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Feminist Amber Rose Sells Fur Burger to Saudi Sheikh For $600

RIYADH - Saudi Arabia - Empowered 'feminist' and rap skank stripper, Amber Rose has sold her vagina to a Saudi Sheikh for the princely sum of $600.
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Jean Claude Juncker Projectile Vomits On Reporters

BRUSSELS - Belgium - EU President, Jean Claude Juncker has spectacularly projectile vomited onto a group of reporters, it has been reported in all news sources.
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New UK Health Plan Urges People to Die Younger

LONDON - England - Health Insurers and professionals in Britain are now urging people to die younger. Because of the poor quality of life in the UK, people are preferring death over life in Britain today.

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Why Stretching Your Mouse Pointer Across Screen is Hard Work

CUPERTINO - USA - People are getting so lazy these days that simple actions like moving a mouse pointer to the other side of a screen is considered hard work.

Bonnie Tyler to be Resurrected From the Dead For Total Eclipse

FLORIDA - USA - Eighties pop starlet, Bonnie Tyler, who can literally make paint peel with her voice, has been recruited to sing on a Caribbean cruise ship for the total eclipse which will take place on August 21.

The Botox Drink Taking Celebrity World by Storm

LOS ANGELES - USA - Forget about needles in your face, the cosmetic industry has now discovered the perfect solution for the botox generation.

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