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Thursday, December 14, 2017

Giggs Treated Moyes Like a Member of the Family

MANCHESTER - England - After the unsavoury departure of former manager David Moyes from Manchester United, former footballer Ryan Giggs has stepped into his shoes.

Michelle Obama to Take First Multi-Million Dollar Vacation in Year

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Michelle Obama has sighed in relief at her husband's election win and is already planning her next multi-million dollar taxpayer funded vacation.

Rapture Followers Who Gave Away Life Savings Want Money Back

WISCONSIN - USA - Dwight Bingham, a follower of the Christian radio network Family Stations Inc is demanding the return of the $185,000 he gave to Jesus last week when the Rapture was meant to happen.

High Earners Told to Just Hand Over the Cash

LONDON - England - The war against high earners is taking a turn for the worse with calls now for rich people to just hand over everything they have to the poor.

Egyptian Mummy is Actually Daddy British Museum Claims

LONDON - England - An ancient Egyptian mummy is actually a daddy according to senior anthropologist, professor Dean Arkleblather of the British Museum.

China: 4 MPH Road Speed Limit Upgraded to 6 MPH

BEIJING - China - Journey times on Chinese roads have been cut drastically by radical Government initiatives.
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Anti-austerity Celebrity Millionaires March For Hypocrisy

LONDON - England - Amongst the poor people attending an anti austerity march on Saturday were a bunch of celebrity millionaires, who were even seen holding placards and shouting slogans.
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Feminist Amber Rose Sells Fur Burger to Saudi Sheikh For $600

RIYADH - Saudi Arabia - Empowered 'feminist' and rap skank stripper, Amber Rose has sold her vagina to a Saudi Sheikh for the princely sum of $600.

Woman Displays Ailments on Daily Mail Site

GRIMSTHORPE - England - A 56-year-old woman was featured in a front page Daily Mail article yesterday showing off the many ailments she suffers from and how she deals with her various health problems.
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Melania: When Donald Farts He is Always a Gentleman

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Melania Trump has revealed in a Hello magazine exclusive that the president has a problem with flatulence, especially during important meetings.

Fake U.S. Terror Announcements Justify NSA Snooping

WASHINGTON DC - USA - "I told you so!" was the tone coming from the NSA chief today as more terror attack warnings were released all over the place.

Diplomats: Trump Too Easily Goaded Does Not Fare Well For Presidency

SOUTH CAROLINA - USA - Donald Trump is not a poker player, neither cool under fire, or a coherent strategist, at best, he is a bull in China shop cluttering around and prattling on inanely making any situation worse than it may have to be.

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