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Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Massive Sink Hole Swallows Up Whole of Florida

FLORIDA - USA - Be careful of the sink hole, it used to be the American state of Florida but is now just one big deep hole.

Russian Blyat Airlines Ready For Take Off

SIBERIA - Russia - With more sanctions being proposed by the U.S. and EU, Russians have always dealt with the hardships of life in their own unique way.

Britney Spears Takes Out Restraining Order on Herself

LOS ANGELES - CA - Britney Spears, the ailing former pop mime artist, has taken out a restraining order on herself because she does not know what she is doing and has no control over herself any more.

Daily Squib Office Invaded by Chinese Censor

LONDON - England - The Daily Squib offices were invaded by a visiting Chinese censor on vacation from China yesterday.

Astronomers: Newly Discovered Black Hole to be Named After Greece

ATHENS - Greece - Astronomers are to dedicate a newly discovered black hole in our solar system to the Greeks, an announcement said today.

It's Official: Obama Was Big Joke By Behind Scenes Hierarchy

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Pentagon insiders have finally conceded that President Barack Obama was all a big joke and the game is finally up.

Berlin Wall Fall – Catalonia Independence Revolution – End of EU Soviet Union

BARCELONA - Catalonia - This is the beginning of the end of Soviet EU rule with the separation state declaring independence from the Spanish sector of the Soviet EUnion.

Constantly Kneeling African Americans Unproductive in Work Force Say Bosses

NEW YORK - USA - African Americans across the nation are kneeling in protest, however this action is causing some problems in the workplace.

Socialite Tara Palmer Tomkinson Finally Gets the Nose She Always Wanted

LONDON - England - After snorting £400 of cocaine up her nose everyday, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson has finally got the nose she was working so hard to get.
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Daily Squib Holding Company to Start Galactic Flights £45,000 Per Ticket

LONDON - England - The Daily Squib is to become a major competitor to Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic space flights, the Squib's head of communications and space flight has announced.

The West Must Reinstate Compulsory Military Conscription Now

PARIS - France - Full compulsory military conscription in all Western nations must be implemented immediately before it is too late. Here are the supporting arguments.

Michael Jackson Museum to Display Prosthetic Nose

LOS ANGELES - USA - Amongst the famous white glove that the sadly deceased king of pop used to wear when fiddling with his young friends backstage, there will also be a display of the many prosthetic noses that Jackson had to use after his real nose had disintegrated many years ago.

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