LONDON - England - Comrade Brown, who as our unelected superhuman super-fit Commander in Chief, brought forth more orders for his five year vision of change plan today.
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Just do it Vlad, they want you to pull the trigger, so the next stage can commence.
SWINDON - England - The unelected prime minister, Gordon Brown has called for another urgent world summit meeting on terrorism which will be held inside the latest summit meeting on global warming.
LOS ANGELES - USA - Internet users are mourning the thoroughly entertaining Hollywood actor Alec Baldwin trying to stay away from the internet.
SHANDENG - China - Tony Blair has allegedly struck gold in a Chinese mine where there is a lot of gold.
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - President Obama has come out fighting with his boxing gloves this time, Putin better watch out.
MENLO PARK - USA - Just as Mark Zuckerberg and his wife's first born baby popped into an uncertain world, she would be astounded to hear that her father is giving away 99% of his fortune for philanthropic use.
PARIS - France - The countries union leaders have agreed to stop rioting after the age of 62, the French media reports.
PARIS - France - Former French president, Nikolas Sarkozy has admitted that it is France's fault that the Calais Jungle refugee camp was created.
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LONDON - England - Shadow Chancellor, Ed Balls has vowed to ban all red traffic lights in Britain when Labour is re-elected in 2015.
Brighton & Hove Albion and Newcastle United have both confirmed their Premier League promotion, whilst either Reading, Fulham, Sheffield Wednesday or Huddersfield will join them.